Here's how I watch American Idol without wanting to kill myself: I don't watch until the Top 12. I tape the show and then fast-forward through all of the parts that don't involve singing or judging. This way: no recaps, no minimal Seacrest, and no faux-drama in the contestants' clip packages. I like to think this makes it easier to judge on just performances and not on any personality quirks or sympathy twinges.
So here we go with the Top 11.
Amanda Overmeyer is singing "Back in the U.S.S.R." She asks us if we're ready. I think so, or else I wouldn't be watching you. She's really shouty and loud and it's just not working. This is bad, right? After some waffling from Randy and Paula, Simon agress with me, calling it a "mess" and tells her she's getting repetitive.
Kristy Lee Cook should have been forbidden from ever singing again after what she did to "Eight Days a Week" last week. Instead, she narrowly avoided elimination and is back to serenade us with "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away." Sample lyric: "I can see them laugh at me." No kidding. She's bad on the high notes, misses all of the low notes, and boring as heck. Even Paula can only summon up a half-hearted, "Well, at least you look nice!" comment. Simon compares her to "musical wallpaper." I love you, Simon. Shut up, crowd.
David Archuleta has apparently recovered from his memory lapse of last week and is performing "A Long and Winding Road." Ooooh, this was beautiful. His voice is incredible. And he's adorable. Randy says he brought the hotness back. If you say so. Simon tells him he was amazing, and CLAPS. Whoa. David is adorable some more. He's like a boy Polly Pocket!
Aussie Michael Johns sings "Day in the Life." He still hasn't done anything about his weird hair. His performance isn't great, but it's not terrible either. Judges? They were underwhelmed. Simon uses the "mess" designation for the second time tonight.
Brooke White gave my favorite performance from last week, and she's singing "Here Comes the Sun" tonight, dressed in bright yellow. She "woos" in the beginning. And it didn't get better from there. She looked really, really awkward without the piano. The judges kind of rip into her, and she looks really sad. Awww...sympathy votes!
David Cook is singing "Day Tripper" and playing guitar. Let me say this: I think David is a very, very poor man's Chris Daughtry. So it's entirely strange that I loved this performance, even with the Frampton-esque voicebox and the faux-hardcore! poses at the end. I really, really enjoyed that. After waffling from the first two, Simon doesn't think it was all that great. The crowd boos him. Shut up, crowd. Shut up, Paula.
Carly Smithson is singing "Blackbird." This was beautiful. I think it was perfect for her voice. Randy pronouces it"cooliosis." Uh...if you say so, dude. I liked the whole thing...right up until she started talking back to Simon, who didn't like the song. When will the contestants learn?
Jason Castro a.k.a. "The Dirty Hippie," is singing "Michelle." His whole stoner vibe is a take-it-or-leave-it type thing, and I choose to leave it. I don't think his voice is all that strong, he looks frighteningly like a female friend of mine, and he has negligible stage presence. The screaming women in the audience disagree. Simon kind of agrees with me (and that's all that matters), and he tells Jason that the only reason he'll last another week is because some people think he's pretty.
I don't remember Syesha from last week, but now she's singing "Yesterday," accompanied only by one guitarist. It's good, I guess, but it's nothing that's going to make me remember her for next week. Judges are lukewarm-to-positive, with Simon saying he thinks that performance saved her for another week.
Chikezie is singing my favorite Beatles song, "I've Just Seen a Face." I just saw "Across the Universe," and I love Jim Sturgess's version, too. Chikezie, meanwhile, slowed down the whole first part of the song and then midway through kicked it up to a kind of barn-stomping hoedown. Even with the arrangement, I love it. I like his voice, and it's rough and growly and kind of perfect for this song. After waffling from the first two judges, Simon says he didn't like it.
Ramiele (who?) is singing "I Should Have Known Better." Eh. You can hear how thin her voice is, and the wiggling she's substituting for "dancing" is distracting. Simon sums it up nicely, calling it "amateurish."
Top 3: David A., Carly, David C.
Close behind: Chikezie
Bottom 3: Amanda, Kristy Lee, either Jason or Ramiele.
Going home (and not on tour): Kristy Lee
So here we go with the Top 11.
Amanda Overmeyer is singing "Back in the U.S.S.R." She asks us if we're ready. I think so, or else I wouldn't be watching you. She's really shouty and loud and it's just not working. This is bad, right? After some waffling from Randy and Paula, Simon agress with me, calling it a "mess" and tells her she's getting repetitive.
Kristy Lee Cook should have been forbidden from ever singing again after what she did to "Eight Days a Week" last week. Instead, she narrowly avoided elimination and is back to serenade us with "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away." Sample lyric: "I can see them laugh at me." No kidding. She's bad on the high notes, misses all of the low notes, and boring as heck. Even Paula can only summon up a half-hearted, "Well, at least you look nice!" comment. Simon compares her to "musical wallpaper." I love you, Simon. Shut up, crowd.
David Archuleta has apparently recovered from his memory lapse of last week and is performing "A Long and Winding Road." Ooooh, this was beautiful. His voice is incredible. And he's adorable. Randy says he brought the hotness back. If you say so. Simon tells him he was amazing, and CLAPS. Whoa. David is adorable some more. He's like a boy Polly Pocket!
Aussie Michael Johns sings "Day in the Life." He still hasn't done anything about his weird hair. His performance isn't great, but it's not terrible either. Judges? They were underwhelmed. Simon uses the "mess" designation for the second time tonight.
Brooke White gave my favorite performance from last week, and she's singing "Here Comes the Sun" tonight, dressed in bright yellow. She "woos" in the beginning. And it didn't get better from there. She looked really, really awkward without the piano. The judges kind of rip into her, and she looks really sad. Awww...sympathy votes!
David Cook is singing "Day Tripper" and playing guitar. Let me say this: I think David is a very, very poor man's Chris Daughtry. So it's entirely strange that I loved this performance, even with the Frampton-esque voicebox and the faux-hardcore! poses at the end. I really, really enjoyed that. After waffling from the first two, Simon doesn't think it was all that great. The crowd boos him. Shut up, crowd. Shut up, Paula.
Carly Smithson is singing "Blackbird." This was beautiful. I think it was perfect for her voice. Randy pronouces it"cooliosis." Uh...if you say so, dude. I liked the whole thing...right up until she started talking back to Simon, who didn't like the song. When will the contestants learn?
Jason Castro a.k.a. "The Dirty Hippie," is singing "Michelle." His whole stoner vibe is a take-it-or-leave-it type thing, and I choose to leave it. I don't think his voice is all that strong, he looks frighteningly like a female friend of mine, and he has negligible stage presence. The screaming women in the audience disagree. Simon kind of agrees with me (and that's all that matters), and he tells Jason that the only reason he'll last another week is because some people think he's pretty.
I don't remember Syesha from last week, but now she's singing "Yesterday," accompanied only by one guitarist. It's good, I guess, but it's nothing that's going to make me remember her for next week. Judges are lukewarm-to-positive, with Simon saying he thinks that performance saved her for another week.
Chikezie is singing my favorite Beatles song, "I've Just Seen a Face." I just saw "Across the Universe," and I love Jim Sturgess's version, too. Chikezie, meanwhile, slowed down the whole first part of the song and then midway through kicked it up to a kind of barn-stomping hoedown. Even with the arrangement, I love it. I like his voice, and it's rough and growly and kind of perfect for this song. After waffling from the first two judges, Simon says he didn't like it.
Ramiele (who?) is singing "I Should Have Known Better." Eh. You can hear how thin her voice is, and the wiggling she's substituting for "dancing" is distracting. Simon sums it up nicely, calling it "amateurish."
Top 3: David A., Carly, David C.
Close behind: Chikezie
Bottom 3: Amanda, Kristy Lee, either Jason or Ramiele.
Going home (and not on tour): Kristy Lee
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