Eliminations, Beautiful People, and It's Never Too Early for an Emmy Rant

This week, another aspiring pop star/washed-up celebrity faced the long, sad road home without a recording contract/disco ball trophy.

First, Dancing with the Stars said good-bye to Shannon Elizabeth, who lasted much, much longer than any other model/leggy actress before her. She may not have won the trophy, but she did gain a (much younger) boyfriend in her partner, Derek Hough. So what if the relationship dies after three weeks? It was adorable while it lasted. Seriously, though. I really liked Shannon, and though it was clear that she was not going to win, she gave it her all and really improved over the course of her time on DWtS.

Then, last night, American Idol eliminated Brooke White, who had actually gotten progressively worse since her first performance on the show. She hit her high point in Week One with "Let It Be," and went downhill from there. Visibly nervous, she started two songs over and gave many, many shaky performances. But there was still so much to love about her Brooke-ness that you almost didn't mind. I hope she goes on to make lovely, Norah Jones-ish records sitting at her piano.

That leaves us with a fairly solid Top Four, with one glaring exception. Jason Castro is the biggest one-trick pony that ever tricked, and he's sailing through. Next week is the patented BIG SHOCKING ELIMINATION week (See: Grey, Tamyra; London, LaToya; and Daughtry, Chris) so my bet is that Jason and Syesha hang on and one of the Davids goes, clearing the way for the other David to win. We shall see, though. Syesha is verging on Nikki McKibbon territory here, hitting the bottom two every week, but somehow squeaking by. This means she has no fanbase, whereas each of the three remaining men/boys does. Should be a very interesting week...especially because it is "Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame Week" which plays right into David Cook's wheelhouse.

In other news, Jason Taylor, All-Pro linebacker and this week's leader on DWTS, has been named one of People Magazine's Most Beautiful People. Some other familiar faces show up on the issue's preview, including American Idol Carrie Underwood, Comedy Central's Sarah Silverman, Samantha Who? herself, Christina Applegate, Eva Longoria, the entire cast of "Gossip Girl," and a fully-clothed Vanessa Hudgens.

The awards show that absolutely no one cares about, the Daytime Emmys, announced their nominations yesterday. This, of course, got me thinking about the real Emmy nominations, which are announced in just about two and a half months -- July 17th. That date marks "The Wire's" final shot at any significant nominations. They submitted the fifth season premiere "More With Less" and the series finale "-30-" for consideration, but the realist inside me says that if the magnificent fourth season couldn't garner even one cruddy nomination, the somewhat flawed fifth season won't, either. I'm really trying to resign myself to it now, so that I'm only mildly enraged on the morning of the 17th.

I'm two discs and 16 episodes into the first season of "How I Met Your Mother," and I'm pretty much in love with it. Barney is quickly moving up the ranks of my favorite TV characters of all time.

Huge Weekly Wrap-Up; The Week In Pictures

Again, apologies for the lack of updates. Tomorrow is my last day of class...ever, so with the exception of studying for finals and trying to find a job, I have nothing to do in the next two weeks. Which is good, because sweeps/finale season is almost here, and we need TV blogs more than ever during that hectic time.

Since the last blog: We said goodbye to Carly, probably unfairly.

Then we said goodbye to Marlee. This one was deserved.

The Office attempted to un-cute Jim & Pam.

They were not successful. (Picture credit to pessimistreader) Also on The Office, we learned that Ryan has a cocaine addiction and Toby is leaving Scranton for Costa Rica. (Season finale title: "Good Bye, Toby") Also, here is an amazing countdown of the best Jim & Pam moments in the history of The Office. Oh, the memories.

This list of "Jump the Shark" moments was released. I could not agree more with the entries for Idol, Grey's Anatomy, and Heroes. Sanjaya was the jumping point for Idol. The fact that the judges put him in the top 24 was inexcusable. Grey's...I can't say anything that hasn't been said, but killing Denny (even though that's not the jumping point the writer uses) sent the show into unecessary melodrama, which culminated with the unfortunate Gizzy experiment, and apparently, they're still trying to drag on the business with Alex and Jane Doe. Seriously? Does anyone actually want them together? They had something with Alex and Izzie, or even Alex and Addison, and they blew it. I could rant for days about Grey's, though, so I'll move on.

The Heroes moment that Matthew Gilbert chooses (the first season finale), is the most obvious example I've seen of a show being unable to deliver on its premise. These are people with superpowers, and for the bulk of the finale, they are standing around, not using them. All season, they had built up to a super battle between Peter and Sylar, and it lasted approximately 15 seconds. I think I could actally hear the whoosh of disappointed sighs as the episode ended. To make matters worse, two days later, the Lost season 3 finale (a.k.a. the greatest episode ever) aired, and the difference in quality between the "grown-up" twisty sci-fi show and its spawn had never been more pronounced. You can trace Heroes' disappointing second season right back to its season one finale. Here's hoping that their new concentration on villans (bring Kensei back, you fools! He was the best thing about the second season!) will breathe new life into the show next fall.

In "better late than never" news, after four years of crappy sports teams, we Orange seniors finally have two sports teams we can feel good about: All hail the mighty power of Syracuse lacrosse. Yes, Katie Rowan is The Boss Of Everything. Just accept it now.

Dancing with the Stars, Week 7

Jason is doing the cha cha. In practice, Edyta decides Jason needs to be more comfortable dancing on his own, so she takes him to a freestyle dance class. He is easily a foot talle than everyone else in the class, but he does well, becuase he has a natural rhythm about him. I love their routine, as usual. His footwork is great, and his arms are good most of the time. He does much better on his than anyone else in this competition except Kristi, so it'll be interesting to see how everyone handles that. Len notes that she went a bit off-tempo, as does Bruno, Carrie Anne critiques the bit of awkwardness in his arms. He gets a bit lower than usual with a 8,8,8 for a 24.

Shannon and Derek are totally dating. And wow, they're not really trying to hide it either. Derek brings her flowers, they go to the beach and Derek dances with his shirt off and they roll around in the sand together. They're dancing the rhumba, hence the romantic set-up. I think Shannon does a great job with the dance. Her lines are getting a lot better, Derek is choreographing to her strengths, and they have genuine chemistry on the dance floor. I don't think it was her best, but she's improving so much each week that it almost doesn't matter. Bruno says that they were "sizzling," but tells her to work on to footsteps. Carrie Anne tells her to work harder, but praises her work ethic. I always feel so bad when Shannon gets a negative critique, because she takes it so hard.

Before their scores, Tom tells us that they will be celebrating their 100th show in 2 weeks, and it will included performances by Mel & Maks, Mario Lopez, and Apolo and Julianne!! Yay Apolo! Shannon's scores are 8s across the board, to tie them with Jason with a 24.

Marlee had a tough week last week. She and Fabian are learning the mambo, which is Fabian's favorite. Then the Fonz shows up to tell her how great her spirit is. She looks fantastic, but again, I think she missed a couple things, or stepped off of the beat at some point. Carrie Anne was a bit disappointed. Len tells her she is an insporation, and then tells her it was uncomfortable. Same with Bruno. They're disguising their critiques around praise for being deaf. She gets straight 7s for a 21.

Cristian and Cheryl are foxtrotting. They look fantastic in shades of pink, but the dance is not good. Cristian is concentrating too hard on the counting, and then when he stops doing that, he's missing steps. Cheryl does her best, but this is not one of their better ones.

Band! The lady is in orange spandex and a gold headdress this week. Len tells Cristian this was his best dance, and then threatens to "show his bum in the supermarket" if Cristian is in the bottom two this week. Bruno (and I) choose not to think about that, but unlike me, praises the dance. I really didn't think it was that good, especially the footwork, which both Bruno and Carrie Anne loved. Before the break, they show us a preview of the group country dance coming up tonight. It looks like absolute mayhem. I can't wait! After the break, Cristian gets three 9s for a 27. Boo. It was not better than Jason's dance.

Marissa is next, and she's doing the Viennese Waltz. They seem to have a great time together. During the dance (which I enjoyed very much), I finally realized why all of her dances looks so odd, which was probably very obvious to everyone else from, like, Week One. Her legs are so much shorter than his, so all of the strides he's taking are just too big for her, which I think accounts for the fact that a few times in this dance, it looks like she's running to keep up. They miss one hold, and their ending is very complicated and kind of wobbly, but overall I liked it. It also looked like the wardrobe department figured out how to dress Marissa, because she's wearing a dress that doesn't make her look like a tree stump. Aww, she and Tony are so excited. All three judges praise her, and she gets a 9,8,9 for a 26.

Kristi hung out with Tiger Woods this week. Yeah, I guess that's cool. She and Mark are doing a jive. They try to play up the fact that Kristi has club feet as a child to make it seem like she has a weakness. I don't buy it, ABC! She won Olympic gold on those feet, I think she can handle the disco ball trophy. They do an adorable jive and while Mark does more of the work than usual this week, they were fantastic. Carrie Anne gives them a standing O before they get to the critiques. She says it was her favorite dance this season so far. Len calls it a buffet and a "tasty smorgasboard of dance." Great word usage there. Bruno raves. I'm feeling a perfect score. And there it is. A 30. Mark lifts Kristi into the air, but stupid Samantha has to pull her down. They were just having fun!

Paula Abdul is there. I'm thinking she could be a potential contestant next year, if her other gig keeps losing viewers.

Mario thinks he can go head-to-head with Kristi. Not if she keeps dancing like that, you can't. He and Karina are doing the rhumba this week. They are dancing to, no joke, "Let's Get it On." I wonder how the other Mario (Lopez, and Karina's boyfriend) feels about this. Karina is wearing red underwear and what looks like half of a white sheet. Also, this is very uncomfortable, but let's just say that with his tight pants...you can clearly tell which way Mario dresses. And we'll leave it at that. The dance is almost unwatchably sexy. The crowd loves this one. Len, however, calls Karina a strumpet and Mario a gigolo. Oh, Len. Stop being old. Bruno puts us back on track by calling it "fabulous." Carrie says it was better than good sex. I could not make this shit up. Wow. They get a 9,9,10 (their first of the competition) for a 28.

But wait! We still have the rodeo-themed group dance yet to go! A personal theory of mine: most everyone looks hotter in a cowboy hat. The stars all prove it in this montage. Kristi is elected head of the sheriffs and Jason the head of the outlaws. He tells her that the town ain't big enough for the both of them. Kristi tries to stand up to him, but sadly for her, he just picks her up and throws her over his shoulder. Later on, he picks up Derek and fake-smashes him into the bar. This looks like so much fun. This dance is the funniest thing I've seen this week. For one, it is to "Cotton-Eyed Joe." Two, it's total chaos. Shannon flips Derek, Mark & Kristi do a lift I think I've seen in figure skating pairs competition, and they all do cartwheels. Jason rocks my socks, and he and Edyta do an incredible no-hands lift. I'll try to find it on YouTube, because it needs to be seen. Tomorrow someone has to go home, though. And it's getting hard to choose.

Top 3: Kristi, Mario, and Marissa

Bottom 2: Marlee and Cristian

Going home: I have no idea. I don't think Cristian has a fan base, but then Len had to go and make his threat. Marlee's too inspirational, so maybe Shannon?? I hope not.

Dancing with the Stars, Week 5

It's Latin Week! I spent the whole episode looking forward to Jason's performance, and debating whether or not I would rather have him do a rhumba or a samba. Hmmm, maybe I've picked a favorite.

Mario is up first, and he and Karina will be performing a samba. Instead of devoting every spare second to practicing, he goes to hang out with "his good friend" Stevie Wonder. Stevie's not going to help you with your posture, is he, Mario? They're dancing to "A Tisket, A Tasket." For a samba? Really? Mario looks more comfortable than he has sincce week one, but I still don't think he's getting any better. He's just trying to get back to as good as he was that first week. His "hip action" is great and he moves with a lot of confidence in the samba, though.

When they're done, Tom reminds us about the band. Why does that one woman always wear a headdress and spandex? Is that the next new fashion thing that I'll have to ignore, a la stretch pants and giant sunglasses?

Anyway, the judges loved Mario's samba. Len tells him to watch his feet. Mario gets a 9,9,9 for a total of 27.

Priscilla is next, and she and Louis will be performing a rhumba. She has chosen to wear an odd, sparkly shawl that makes her look 20 pounds heavier than she is. I think this was her weakest performance. She does a very impressive split in the beginning--how many 60-year-old women do you know that can do that? But her hands are bad, and their final hold is really, really shaky. Len rips it apart. 7,7,7 for 21 total. Even with the low score, I wouldn't count her out yet. The old-lady vote can be pretty potent. (See: Osmond, Marie)

Marissa and Tony will be performing the samba. What is it with Tony's shirts this year? For weeks now, he's had the most bizarre fashion choices. Maybe he's trying to distract from the fact that his partner is not very good, even though I think this is their strongest performance yet. It still has the same problems as some of their earlier dances: it's too slow, and there are too many hip-hop moves. The judges give moderate praise, and give her three eights for a 24.

Cristian and Cheryl will be performing the rhumba. In practice, Cheryl criticizes Cristian for not being manly enough, and then sticks him in a pink satin shirt. Here's the thing about rhumba: it's a slow dance, so I can never tell how much movement around the floor is a good amount. Because it looks like Cristian is just standing there while Cheryl spins around him. Len calls it "very competent." The judges are tougher this week than they've been, probably because the scores were so high last week. Carrie Anne says they weren't "erotic" enough. Can you say that in the 8 o'clock hour? They get a 7,8,8 for a 23. And going back to his dance after watching Jason's, Cristian's was like being served broccoli when you were expecting chocolate. (Not good.)

Marlee and Fabian dance the samba, and for the first time, you can see how Marlee not being able to hear really affects their dance. She stumbles a bit and gets off the beat a couple times -- maybe because the samba is so rhythm-dependent. Her "hip action" isn't great, and their hold is a bit off. The judges all carefully critique her, by which I mean they all say she's so "inspirational," and then they tell her what she did wrong. She gets a 7,7,8 for a 22.

Kristi has had two kids! And she looks like that! Wow. She and Mark will be dancing the rhumba, which Kristi says she's a bit nervous about because it's such a sensual dance and she's married and a mommy. She calls Mark a "hot young thing." Sing it, sister. He can even make the lavender outfit he's wearing look good. I can't even take notes when I watch Kristi. It was amazing and beautiful. The judges agree, and she gets a 9,10,10 for a 29.

Shannon and Derek had to suffer through another health scare this week, when Derek comes down with food poisoning on Monday morning. He's well enough to dance their samba. Going into it, you kind of knew Shannon wasn't going to do well with the hip rolls and Latin beat of the samba, and while there are some nice moments, the dance as a whole is a definite step down from last week. Carrie Anne makes a great point, though: she really went for it. Shannon's scores are 8,8,7 for a 23.

Finally! Jason and Edyta are doing the rhumba, and it's going to be amazing. During the dance, my notes are just a bunch of exclamation points: his hips! his hands! he's so graceful! How can this guy be a football player?! Maybe Kristi doesn't have this thing so wrapped up, after all. I really think that if Jason keeps getting better, we'll have a real battle on our hands. He gets three nines for a 27.

Top Three: Kristi, Jason, Mario
Bottom Three: Marlee, Priscilla, Cristian
If I had to guess: Priscilla hangs on for another week, Cristian goes home.

Reality Wrap-Up

I goofed tonight and forgot to set the VCR to tape Idol and Dancing with the Stars. A quick look around the Internet tells me that Adam Carolla finally said good-bye on DwtS. And thanks to rickey.org, I was able to listen to the Idol mp3s from tonight's Top 8: Idol Gives Back edition of the show.

Here's what I heard:

Michael Johns performs "Dream On," and I love this song because it plays over the end credits of "Miracle," and I'm always crying inspirational tears while the credits are rolling. But Michaelis no Steven Tyler, and his voice just does not hold up to the higher notes. Meh.

I cannot fathom why someone would choose to sing one of the winning 'Idol' anthems. They are, hands down, some of the worst songs ever written. Yet that is what Syesha Mercado has chosen to sing tonight: Fantasia's winning ballad from S3, "I Believe." For the second week in a row, she has made the most incomprehensible song choice among the Idols. Syesha is over-reaching, I think. Her voice isn't good enough for the songs she's singing.

For the second week in a row, I love Jason Castro's performance. What's wrong with me? He sings the Hawai'ian version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," complete with ukelele, andit works perfectly for him. He sounds fantastic, so much better than Katherine McPhee's overwrought and over-praised version from S5.

Kristy Lee sings "Anyway." This is the thing about Kristy: she's Kellie Pickler. She's blond, she's cute, and she's a terrible singer who is destined for the Top 6 because she sings country music. Thi performance actually wasn't terrible, I enjoyed it more than anything else she's done.

I had a few weeks in a row where I really liked David Cook's performances, and I was wondering if there was something wrong with me. He comes back this week with "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace, and it is a hot mess. The beginning sucks, the high notes suck, and he only kind of pulls it together for the chorus and bridge near the end. This is the worst I've heard him sing, and I think it was the worst of the night.

Oh, the desperation. Carly sings "The Show Must Go On." Oh, dear. Freddie Mercury you are not. This is such a strange performance: sometimes she's over-singing and it sounds strained, and other times she's not singing enough and gets drowned out by the background singers of doom. She tries to belt the big notes at the end and fails. Maybe THIS was the worst performance of the night. I liked Nicole Kidman's version in "Moulin Rouge" much better.

Is "Angels" the one Robbie Williams song that actually crossed over to America? I can never remember. David Archuleta plays the piano and sings the song. The beginning is rough -- a lot of the notes sound too low for him, but then he hits the chorus, and his voice just soars. This kid. Depending on the suckiness of the songs on his album, I may actually buy it. (Maybe just one or two songs on iTunes)

I was bored just listening to Brooke sing, so I can't imagine what it was like to watch. I thought she was pleasant to listen to. Meh.

Top 3: Jason, David A., Kristy Lee (I know!)

Bottom 3: Brooke, Carly, Syesha

Going home: My head says Brooke, but my heart doesn't want to believe that.

Dancing With the Stars, Week 4

I'm half-paying attention to the NCAA Championship game, but tonight we need to remember what happened five years ago: 81-78. The greatest night of my life.

Moving on to less tear-inducing moments, the fourth week of everyone's favorite ballroom dancing competition showcased some great dancing, some inflated scores, and a comment about swan mating. Here we go:

After going last or next-to-last for the first three weeks, Kristi and Mark lead off the show with a paso doble. Before she even starts to dance, I'm feeling a 10. She's due. For the seond week in a row, they get the award for "Most Bizarre Music Selection." I don't think a techno version of "Blue Monday" by Orgy qualifies as ballroom dancing music. Maybe they're purposely handicapping her with bad music, because that's the only way she can be stopped? The routine is great, as usual. She has a small misstep near the end, but she's still in a class by herself in this competition. I was right: first 10s of the year come from Carrie Ann and Bruno, for a score of 29.

Sweet, the Vietnamese Fighting Waltz! Or Viennese Waltz, as it is known to those who didn't see Season 2 of So You Think You Can Dance. Priscilla and Louis do a fairly quick waltz, and her steps are great, but her upper body is weirdly stiff and the hold just looks off to me. Bruno points out her shoulder/line problem. Carie Ann compliments her facial expressions (...with a straight face) but then goes back to the "lift" nonsense from last year. You can't do a lift in a waltz when Carrie Ann is watching, she will dock you for it. Carrie Ann and Len take a point off for the lift, they're given a score of 22.

Adam and Julianne are doing the paso. He comes out on a unicycle, in full Zorro gear, including mustache, cape, and mask. It's typical Adam: not good, stompy, and Julianne does most of the work in an effort to distract from her terrible partner. After its over, Julianne says, "That was friggin' awesome." I don't know if "awesome" is the word I would use, but OK. Carrie Ann says, "I've never seen one like that before." That's what she said. The judges try not to say he was terrible, but he was. He gets a 19.

Did you know that Marlee was deaf? I know, they haven't mentioned it in the past few seconds, but have no fear, the show reminds you by saying that she has trouble keeping her balance because she's deaf. I didn't get to watch the whole dance, because my VCR crapped out in the middle, but the judges seemed to have liked it for the most part. She gets a 24.

Mario tries to recover from his off week with the paso, which going in, sounds good for him. What is with the music tonight?!?! They're dancing to "Higher Ground" by the Chili Peppers, and again, it's a dancetastic version or something. Bad music aside, I wasn't impressed. Maybe it was because they spent so much of the dance apart, but it seemed disjointed. The judges were impressed, though Len thinks he was out of control a bit. I agree with that -- Mario's a very powerful dancer, and sometimes it becomes too much. He gets a 8, 7, 9 for a 24.

Jason and Edyta give my favorite performance of the year. I had to stop and rewind because I was in awe of how great Jason's hands were. This guy is a football player, but his wrists and hands were better than 75% of the girls on my dance team in high school. He carries himself so well on the dance floor, and he and Edyta really made the dance sensual. They're connecting with each other as the competition goes on, and it's showing on the dance floor. They stumble slightly near the end, but they recover so quickly that it really isn't noticable. Bruno sums it up nicely by saying, "It was like a majestic swan intertwined in a mating ritual." I can't do any better than that. They get a 10, 9, 10 to match Kristi with a 29.

Cristian and Cheryl get the paso. They're both wearing these bizarre pleather outfits with capes. Cristian yells at various points during the routine, but overall, Cheryl is doing most of the work. Bruno says Cristian made the dance "very Latino." Maybe cause...he...is? I think they're overscored with a 9, 8, 9 for a 26.

Disaster alert! Derek was practicing last week for the results show and pulled a muscle in his neck! The ambulance came and it was all very dramatic! Shannon had to practice with Jonathan while Derek had to sit out all week with a brace on his neck! How will they ever recover?!?! The answer is: very well. Derek is back out on the dance floor with Shannon and they put together their best routine of the season. They dance to "Keep Holding On," by Avril, which makes it two weeks in a row that a DwtS couple has done the same dance to the same song that Danny and Anya did on SYTYCD last year. Unlike Marisa's jive last week, Shannon and Derek bring themselves to within shouting distance of the awesomeness that was Danya. Shannon's arms are getting so much better from week to week, and she even pulls off a nice spin on one foot near the end of the dance (which Danny and Anya also did...better). Shannon's totally in my top three favorites, I'm so glad she's getting better. Len thinks it was the best dance of the night. They get a 9, 10, 9 for a score of 28.

Marisa and Tony finish up with a paso doble. Tony is wearing yet another strange outfit, this time black pants and a poofy red cropped jacket. This is definitely the best Marisa has been all year, but it's the first time I've noticed just how short she is and how awkward that looks with Tony. She gets her best score of the year: 24.

Overall, I think the scores were too high tonight, and the scores aren't reflecting the sizeable gap between the top tier (Kristi, Jason, and Shannon) and the next step down (Cristian, Mario, Marlee, and Priscilla).

If I was a betting woman, I would put money on Adam finally going home, but I wouldn't be surprised if Priscilla or Marisa got the boot.

"War on the Floor" Week 3

I can't take credit for that snappy headline, that belongs to Samantha Harris, the dull host. This week, the stars will be performing either a jive or a tango.

The judging seemed very...funny to me this week. Clearly, I'm not enjoying the same performances as the judges, and it's really obvious this week. More on this later.

Marlee is up first with the jive. Her shoulders and feet are a little weird, but the choreography by Fabian is great and almost covers up all of her timing issues. I just enjoy watching her dance. And with Fabian, they just make a great team. The judges aren't as impressed, however, and give her a 21.

Steve does a tango with Anna, but Anna was sick all week, so he practiced with Anna's husband, Jonathan. As Steve says, "he's a little hairier than Anna." On th dance floor, I think Steve gets a bit stompy and flubs the ending. Then he puts a bowl on his head to face the judges. Is this a Police Academy thing? The judges loved him, and somehow give him the same score as Marlee. He was definitely not that good.

I really only need one word to sum up Cristian and Cheryl's jive: manic. Sometimes that's a good thing, like when he controls his footsteps and gets the fast-paced footwork under control. Sometimes it's very, very bad: like the scary smile that's pasted on his face until he starts thinking about the steps, and at the end, when he almost completely loses track of Cheryl. It tread a fine line, and I didn't think he stayed on the good side of the line. Judges go slightly bananas for it, and give him a 25. I'm not feeling it, dawg. (/Wrong reality show.)

Mario. Mmm, tight pants...I've talked about my shallowness before, right? Anyway, this guy commands the dance floor, totally owns it. I thought it was a strong and powerful tango, the judges rip it apart. Len chides him for his posture and his missteps. (Which, what? They were waaaay less noticable than Steve and Cristian's mistakes.) Len gives him a 6, which is lower than the score he's going to give ADAM in a little while, but Mario gets a 21 overall.

Derek and Shannon are doing the jive. Her costume is a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, and her hands can get better, but she is really, really growing on me. She's improving every week and working hard. She has to sit down to receieve her critique because she's so winded. The judges mostly love it, and she gets a 24.

Adam does the tango. And obviously, Julianne's choreography is awesome and actually makes him look like a half-decent dancer. However, he's still bad, and the judges seem to lose themselves and give him a 21. Then Adam tells the gays in the wardrobe department to dress Julianne sluttier. Not in those exact words, but close.

I just don't know what to think of Marissa. I feel like she should have come out and really rocked the jive tonight, because what else is Hairspray but one big jive? However, it was boring and lacked content, again. I don't know if this is all her fault, or maybe some of the blame should go to Tony, or maybe the INSANE heels they have her dancing in, but I agree with Carrie Ann. She should be better, and she's not. Plus, Danny and Anya jived to "Girlfriend" on SYTYCD last year, and it was a million times better. Judges give her a 19.

Priscilla tangoes. She's abnormally stiff, and Louis looks like he's forcing her from place to place around the floor, which I know that's OK in a tango, but it just looks wrong here. I'm just meh on her. The judges aren't. They love her. A 26? Really?

Jason! learns how to jive this week. I love how, in their practice montage, he and Edyta seem to be having so much fun, and that it's always the big football player that collapses of tiredness, while the teeny-tiny dancer is still on her feet demanding to do try again. The song is pretty slow, but he does a great job with the footwork and stays light on his feet. Len grumps a bit, but the other two liked it: 23.

Kristi closes, and even before she starts there are two major WTFs: her hair, which is plastered to her face, and Mark's suit, which is bright red. The music begins, and it gets even weirder. The music is this odd techno nonsense, but thankfully the dancing is just good enough to distract from it. I don't think the their tango was as good as their last two, and the judges actually hand out a bit of criticism, but she still ends up with a 27 for the third week in a row.

Bottom three: Adam, Marissa, Steve
Top three: Kristi, Jason, Shannon
Going home: Marissa

Dancing With the Stars, Week 2

The Mambo & The Quickstep

Now that each couple has tackled a Latin dance and a ballroom dance, we're starting to see a real divide between the contenders and the pretenders, with a few couples yet to find a designation.

Pretending: Monica Seles is terrible. She's very nice and all, but she clearly has no natural rhythm and it's painful to watch. The mambo is better than last week's foxtrot, but not by much.

Penn Jillette is terrible and annoying, which might be worse. His quickstep was more clomping than dancing and then he wouldn't shut up when the judges tried to critique him.

Adam Carolla seems to try a bit harder this week, but though I love Julianne's mambo choreography, he's still bad. And then Bruno gives him an 8? Wha?!?!

Contending: Shannon moves into a contender position this week on the strength of her quickstep. Derek is doing a great job with her, and I think she's gaining confidence.

Jason Taylor is fantastic. His mambo is incredible, he's charismatic, and, oh yeah, he's sexy as all get out. The judges go (rightly) nuts for it and he's rewarded with a 27.

Marlee does it again this week, this time with a quickstep. The judges rightly compliment her musicality. She's definitely hanging around for awhile.

Kristi and Mario keep their front-runner statuses, Kristi on the strength of her mambo and Mario with his quickstep. This competition is still Kristi's to lose, in my opinion.

Still deciding: I know Steve Guttenberg isn't the greatest dancer, and his mambo wasn't anything to write home about, but he's so gosh-darn endearing that you almost don't care...almost. He's certainly willing to give his all for every dance and looks like he's having fun doing it, but he's not good.

Cristian and Cheryl's quickstep seemed a bit off, and though he's towards the upper end of the talent pool here, something's missing, and I don't know if he's totally connecting with the audience. I feel very 'wait and see' about him, and I think he's still headed for a middle-round exit.

I know Priscilla did a good job last week, and was pretty good again this week, but seriously, I just cannot get past the whole face thing. When she did that stupid tiger crawl on the floor, I almost peed myself in fright.

Marissa...starts crying when she talks about last week?? And then comes out and does an okay quickstep, but I'm with Carrie Ann, I was hoping for more from her. Also, I was really distrcted by her perma-smile -- maybe relax it every once in a while?

Elimination info will be up shortly: I've still got to sit through American Idol. Blech.

Dancing with the Stars Week 1:Women

I forgot to mention this in the other post, but the pro dance to begin the season yesterday deserves to be mentioned. It was awesome. If you can find it on YouTube, I highly recommend it.

So, to the ladies:

Shannon Elizabeth: her legs are crazy long. She's paired with Derek, who I thought really helped Jennie along last year, and Shannon definitely looks like she has potential. Her arms aren't terrible, and she has nice extension sometimes. Like Len (I think it was Len) pointed out, with legs like those, you better what sure your toes are pointed and extended fully. I think the score of 21 out of 30 was fair.

Monica Seles: Aaand maybe Adam Carolla will stick around for more than one week, because Monica was terrible. There were so many things wrong with that performance, I don't know where to begin. I feel bad for Jonathan. The 15 should have been lower.

Marissa Janet Winokour: Well, she certainly has lots of energy. I was really disappointed in the routine, though. I think she has the natural talent, so why would Tony choreograph a routine that didn't show it off? They stayed glued to the same section of the dance floor, possibly because her heels looked about 4 inches tall. She's short, deal with it! And while everyone enjoys a nice pair of sparkly pants from time to time, Tony's may have crossed into the realm of too distracting. The 18 was fair, but hopefully it'll get better

Priscilla: Can't. look. at. face. I'm afraid it'll turn me to stone. From what I saw through my half-closed eyes, she did a pretty good job. The choreography was tough and she dealt wth it very well. I don't know if I would have gone as high as a 24, but not bad. I wonder how well she'll do with some of the quicker numbers.

Kristi: I think we have a winner. Wow. I mean, Mark is a great partner to have, but Kristi just blew everyone else out of the water. Her 27 is the highest first-week total ever. Well-deserved.

Marlee: I actually watched the intro for once because I was so curious as to how she would, you know, hear the music and keep the beat. I really liked the "Fabian is my music" answer -- that makes so much sense when you think about it. And she was good! It even got to my cold, hard heart: I admit I was touched and even a bit inspired by her. Her arms are kind of wild, but of course she'll improve. Her score was a 22.

After the first week of competition, I think Mario and Kristi established themselves as the ones to beat. Next week, they all dance on Monday and the elimination is on Tuesday.

Dancing with the Stars, Week 1: Men

First of all, damn you ABC for not putting the full episodes of DwtS on your website. I had set my VCR to record, not realizing that the time was still off from "springing ahead" last week, and missed the whole show. And tonight, I'll be at the SU game at the same time American Idol and DwtS are on. What is a blogger to do?

Turn to YouTube, of course. I wasn't very surprised by any of the performances tonight. Adam and Penn were terrible, Steve and Cristian were middling, and Jason and especially Mario seem like they're the guys to beat.

I realize Kym has a lot of experience with dancing around her partner (see: Springer, Jerry and Cuban, Marc) and she showed off that particular talent again last night with Penn, who stomped around the dance floor while Kym tried her best to draw attention away from him. He's justly punished with a score of 16 out of 30.

Jason seemed pretty nervous, but like the judges pointed out, he had great posture in his foxtrot and will probably only get better as the season goes on. Once he loosens up a bit and gets used to the steps, he'll be great. His score of 22 is well-earned.

Cristian and Cheryl were up next, and while his footwork was pretty good, his hunched posture was really distracting. Cristian's also the least well-known contestant, so hopefully he'll hang aound a couple weeks, because it seems like he'll only get better with time. Score: 21.

The producers must be getting back at Julianne for winning twice in a row, because clearly she will not be extending the streak this year with Adam Carolla. He was awful, and his score of 15 reflected that.

Mario was amazing. He clearly has natural rhythm and dance ability, and pretty much established himself as a front-runner. He's rewarded with the highest score of the night, a 24.

Steve Guttenberg is so clearly happy to be here that you kind of ignore the fact that he's not a great dancer. His foxtrot wasn't the greatest, but you know he'll do whatever he can to get better for next week. Score: 18.

Bring on the women! Bring on Mark Ballas and Johnathan Roberts! Recap of the second night will be tomorrow, once I find everything on YouTube again. Also, American Idol Top 11 tonight: will Archuleta recover from his disastrous first week? Will Seacrest annoy the poop out of me? Will I ever learn how to spell Chikezie's name without looking it up first? (Answers: Probably, definitely, and no.) Stay tuned.

Tuesday Top Ten: Reality Contestants

With the massive amounts of reality TV coverage coming to TCB over the next few weeks, we thought we should embrace it and celebrate it with a Top 10 list of our favorite reality contestants. Admittedly, the lists are pretty limited, because Allie and I don't watch too many reality competitions, but here's my half of the list.

5) Danny Tidwell (So You Think You Can Dance, Season 3) I loved almost all of the men of season 3 (Jesus, Hok, Cedric, Dom, Pasha, Neil), but in terms of sheer breathtaking talent, Danny leaped above the rest (literally). Incredibly, he landed in the bottom three couples several times, but he always saved himself with his solos, and made it all the way to the finals, where his solo to "We Are the Champions" was my favorite solo dance ever.

4) Clay Aiken (American Idol, Season 2) If this list had been complied, say, four years ago, Clay would have been #1. I was as big a Claymate as there was - his finale performance of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" gave me chills for years after. I maintain to this day that something went wrong with the phone lines and/or Fox fixed the outcome, and he's the true winner of Season 2.

3) Benji Schwimmer (So You Think You Can Dance, Season 2) During his run to the Season 2 crown, Benji took adorkable-ness to a new level. He was a geek and was seriously proud of it. He had a magnetic personality and I looked forward to watching him dance every week.

2) Elliott Yamin (American Idol, Season 5) While Taylor Hicks was twitching and stomping his way to the S5 crown, Elliott was tearing it up week after week, starting in the early semifinal rounds. His performance of "Trouble" during Top 4 week was my favorite of many great performances that year. When Hicks and the talent-less Katherine McPhee made it past him into the finals, I lost all faith in American Idol, and gave it up for good.

1) Apolo Anton Ohno (Dancing With the Stars, Season 4) Partially due to the cuteness of his pairing with Julianne Hough, but Apolo (who I already loved from the Olympics) won me over by being funny, charming, and a great dancer.

Dancing with the Stars Preview

I know the first episode is airing now (I'm taping it so I can fast-forward through the annoying parts), but I wanted to put up a quick preview before my first recap tomorrow. The way I see it, the 12 teams fall into 4 distinct categories:

The "Tucker Carlson" Division: Adam Carolla & Julianne Hough, Priscilla Presley & Louis van Amstel, and Penn Jillette & Kym Johnson. These guys will be competing only for the right to stay longer than the first couple weeks. Two-time defending champ Julianne will have her hands full with Carolla, who seems about as graceful as a coffee table. Viewers watching in HD will be so terrified of Priscilla's face that they may be scarred forever, and though Kym dragged Marc Cuban into the middle rounds last year, I doubt she can do it again this year with Jillette.

The "Mario Lopez/Joey Fatone" Division: Mario & Karina Smirnoff, Kristi Yamaguchi & Mark Ballas, Marissa Janet Winokur & tony Dovolani. These are your frontrunners. The ones who, on paper, look like they've got all of the advantages. If Kristi's that graceful on ice, she's got to be even better on solid ground, right? Plus, she's paired with Ballas, who, except for some freak voting last year, would have won with Sabrina Bryan. Mario has the R&B rhythm thing going for him, and Winokur spent years as Tracy Turnblad on Broadway. However, it's worth noting that neither Lopez nor Fatone actually won their respective years. The winner may come from...

The "Jerry Rice/Apolo Anton Ohno" Division: Cristian de la Fuente & Cheryl Burke, Jason Taylor & Edyta Sliwinska, Shannon Elizabeth & Derek Hough. The dark horses. Cristian has Cheryl, who has won twice and gotten a third partner to the semi-finals. Football players have done well before, so the question is whether or not Jason can live up to the standard set by Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith. And Shannon has Derek, who did so well with Jennie Garth last season. Who knows, maybe one of these three will be the surprise of the season.

The "Heather Mills/Marie Osmond" Division: Steve Guttenberg & Anna Trebunskya, Marlee Matlin & Fabian Sanchez, Monica Seles & Jonathan Roberts. The unknowns. They could be really, really great and make a deep run a la Marie in Season 4, or they could fizzle out somewhere in the middle.

My prediction: I think Kristi takes this one, proving that a woman can indeed win the competition. Dark horse: I think Jason Taylor will live up to the standards of the football-playing alumni, and make a real race of it. Thing I'm most looking forward to: Tom Bergeron, who puts Seacrest to shame with his all-around awesomeness.