I know the first episode is airing now (I'm taping it so I can fast-forward through the annoying parts), but I wanted to put up a quick preview before my first recap tomorrow. The way I see it, the 12 teams fall into 4 distinct categories:
The "Tucker Carlson" Division: Adam Carolla & Julianne Hough, Priscilla Presley & Louis van Amstel, and Penn Jillette & Kym Johnson. These guys will be competing only for the right to stay longer than the first couple weeks. Two-time defending champ Julianne will have her hands full with Carolla, who seems about as graceful as a coffee table. Viewers watching in HD will be so terrified of Priscilla's face that they may be scarred forever, and though Kym dragged Marc Cuban into the middle rounds last year, I doubt she can do it again this year with Jillette.
The "Mario Lopez/Joey Fatone" Division: Mario & Karina Smirnoff, Kristi Yamaguchi & Mark Ballas, Marissa Janet Winokur & tony Dovolani. These are your frontrunners. The ones who, on paper, look like they've got all of the advantages. If Kristi's that graceful on ice, she's got to be even better on solid ground, right? Plus, she's paired with Ballas, who, except for some freak voting last year, would have won with Sabrina Bryan. Mario has the R&B rhythm thing going for him, and Winokur spent years as Tracy Turnblad on Broadway. However, it's worth noting that neither Lopez nor Fatone actually won their respective years. The winner may come from...
The "Jerry Rice/Apolo Anton Ohno" Division: Cristian de la Fuente & Cheryl Burke, Jason Taylor & Edyta Sliwinska, Shannon Elizabeth & Derek Hough. The dark horses. Cristian has Cheryl, who has won twice and gotten a third partner to the semi-finals. Football players have done well before, so the question is whether or not Jason can live up to the standard set by Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith. And Shannon has Derek, who did so well with Jennie Garth last season. Who knows, maybe one of these three will be the surprise of the season.
The "Heather Mills/Marie Osmond" Division: Steve Guttenberg & Anna Trebunskya, Marlee Matlin & Fabian Sanchez, Monica Seles & Jonathan Roberts. The unknowns. They could be really, really great and make a deep run a la Marie in Season 4, or they could fizzle out somewhere in the middle.
My prediction: I think Kristi takes this one, proving that a woman can indeed win the competition. Dark horse: I think Jason Taylor will live up to the standards of the football-playing alumni, and make a real race of it. Thing I'm most looking forward to: Tom Bergeron, who puts Seacrest to shame with his all-around awesomeness.
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