Oh, man. HAAAAATE.

There's a lot of hate in me right now. There are four things that I like about American Idol this year: Simon, Chikezie, David A., and Brooke. Trying to figure out if Jason and Paula share drugs is just a bonus.

Tonight, "America" (a.k.a. the "Idol"-voting public) took one of those things away from me. And I am very, very angry at it. But first, let's start from the beginning.

Ryan's getting really into this whole "stool vs. sofa" thing. Chikezie's out first -- Bottom 3. Expected, I guess.

Brooke is safe! Carly talks about her (non)pregnancy, and then Seacrest tells her she's safe. David Archuleta explains last night's stage-bouncing by saying, "I had fun and maybe I got carried away." He is exceedingly adorable and also safe. My ears can't take the high-pitched shrieking.

Ryan heads off any controversy by saying that he spoke to Chris Connell, the artist whose cover of "Billie Jean" David Cook ripped off/performed last night, and Connell loved the performance. Whatever. Anyway, the other David is safe.

Syesha is in the bottom three again. Guess I'm not the only one to find her boring.

Michael Johns is safe.

How does Ramiele keep escaping the bottom three? It boggles the mind. Anyway, she's safe.

Kristy and Jason for the last spot in the B3, and....Kristy is safe. Of course she is. Just...ugh.

Jason is in the B3 for like 5 seconds before Ryan tells him he's safe.

And then...and then, Simon utters the single stupidest line ever said on this television show, and that is saying A LOT. He actually says, "Don't underestimate how smart the people are that watch this show."




Wait for it...




......wait for it......





Excuse me...what? These are the people who elevated Nikki McKibbon into third place in season one over Tamyra Grey. In season two, COREY CLARK was a member of the top 12, thanks to the vote of America. Season three? Your final three: Fantasia Barrino, Diana DeGarmo, and Jasmine Trias. Oh, and John Stevens was in the Top 6. Enough said. Season 4 introduced us to Constantine, the single creepiest man this side of Charles Manson, and Scott Savol made the Top 5. Taylor Hicks won season 5. TAYLOR HICKS. And what did Season 6 contribute to our culture? Oh, you know, just Sanjaya and his ponyhawk.

How exactly do you underestimate the intelligence of the American Idol viewer? Please, enlighten me.

Anyway, Chikezie gets eliminated and it sucks. I hate this show.