This. is. American. Idol.
Your Top 9 sing Dolly Parton's "9 to 5," and generally do a pretty miserable job of it. Michael Johns is wearing a black shirt with Dolly's face on it. Hee. In other wardrobe news, I kind of noticed this last night, and again tonight: David Archuleta dresses really well. I don't know if he's picking out the outfits, or if his crazy stage-dad is, but he always looks really, really good. And he's 17! Why can't college boys dress that well? Someone forgot to tell my generation that you can actually wear something besides a disgusting baseball hat, a ratty t-shirt, and sweat pants to class.
After a pointless recap, Michael is summoned to center stage. He's safe. Archuleta is safe. (The shrieking! My ears!) Carly is safe. Good start.
They answer questions from viewers again, which seem a bit more intelligent this week, honestly I'm not really paying attention at this point. We do learn that Jason, Michael, and David Cook are roommates. Does that mean David Archuleta was rooming with Chikezie and David H., and now has a room to himself? That's cool for him. I wonder if the Idols root for their roommates to get voted off so they can have more room to themselves?
Something called the Clark Brothers is performing a country/hoedown version of "This Little Light of Mine." Isn't this a lullaby? Or a church song or something? It's really, really odd.
More results! (That is why we're here, after all.) David Cook is safe. Ramiele is FINALLY in the bottom three. Kristy joins her 10 seconds later. (Side note: I'm happy that Kristy's in the B3, because she's the worst singer left, but really, it just makes me angrier about last week. Did singing "God Bless the U.S.A." REALLY buy her that many votes?? I mean, last week is the only week she escaped the bottom three. It makes me very depressed that so many people were inspired to vote for her, solely due to that insipid song.)
And who doesn't want to see what the Idol has-beens are up to? Let's check in with Bucky (S5), Phil (S6), and Bo (S4). They're all having varying degrees of success in and around Nashville, and they all have albums to promote. Bucky says, "Idol was the smartest thing I've ever did." I bet it was.
Results! Syesha sang Whitney badly, but she's safe. Jason and Brooke are left, and it's SO Brooke in the B3; there's no way Jason's psycho fans didn't vote like crazy after last week's scare. And...it's Brooke.
Dolly comes out to sing about Jesus, and at the end she says "Hallelujah, Simon!" Aw, then she says to Ryan, "I've got Jesus, and you have Simon." And he's all Ryan needs, Dolly. Can she come back every week?
Onto the serious business. Brooke, Kristy, and Ramiele: they're roommates, too. Brooke is very emotional, but she's safe, and we're left with a dream bottom two: Kristy and Ramiele. I win no matter what. Ramiele goes home. Stop crying, you've still got the tour.
Next week: The Top 8 and Idol Gives Back. I know I'm a horrible human being for saying this, but I'm really not all that impressed with IGB. They raised$ 76 million last year, but that seems piddly, especially for a multi-gazillion dollar company. I'm going to try and do some math, so bear with me here: Last I heard, FOX charges $400,000 for a 30-second commercial during Idol. Say the show is 44 minutes long, which leaves 16 minutes for commercials, which equals 32 30-second commercials. 32 times $400,000 is $12.8 million. And they air what, 45 episodes of Idol a year? That's $576 million from just commerical revenue alone.
This is a long way of saying I probably will give the mute button a real workout next week. Maybe it will be Kristy Lee's time. One can only hope.
Your Top 9 sing Dolly Parton's "9 to 5," and generally do a pretty miserable job of it. Michael Johns is wearing a black shirt with Dolly's face on it. Hee. In other wardrobe news, I kind of noticed this last night, and again tonight: David Archuleta dresses really well. I don't know if he's picking out the outfits, or if his crazy stage-dad is, but he always looks really, really good. And he's 17! Why can't college boys dress that well? Someone forgot to tell my generation that you can actually wear something besides a disgusting baseball hat, a ratty t-shirt, and sweat pants to class.
After a pointless recap, Michael is summoned to center stage. He's safe. Archuleta is safe. (The shrieking! My ears!) Carly is safe. Good start.
They answer questions from viewers again, which seem a bit more intelligent this week, honestly I'm not really paying attention at this point. We do learn that Jason, Michael, and David Cook are roommates. Does that mean David Archuleta was rooming with Chikezie and David H., and now has a room to himself? That's cool for him. I wonder if the Idols root for their roommates to get voted off so they can have more room to themselves?
Something called the Clark Brothers is performing a country/hoedown version of "This Little Light of Mine." Isn't this a lullaby? Or a church song or something? It's really, really odd.
More results! (That is why we're here, after all.) David Cook is safe. Ramiele is FINALLY in the bottom three. Kristy joins her 10 seconds later. (Side note: I'm happy that Kristy's in the B3, because she's the worst singer left, but really, it just makes me angrier about last week. Did singing "God Bless the U.S.A." REALLY buy her that many votes?? I mean, last week is the only week she escaped the bottom three. It makes me very depressed that so many people were inspired to vote for her, solely due to that insipid song.)
And who doesn't want to see what the Idol has-beens are up to? Let's check in with Bucky (S5), Phil (S6), and Bo (S4). They're all having varying degrees of success in and around Nashville, and they all have albums to promote. Bucky says, "Idol was the smartest thing I've ever did." I bet it was.
Results! Syesha sang Whitney badly, but she's safe. Jason and Brooke are left, and it's SO Brooke in the B3; there's no way Jason's psycho fans didn't vote like crazy after last week's scare. And...it's Brooke.
Dolly comes out to sing about Jesus, and at the end she says "Hallelujah, Simon!" Aw, then she says to Ryan, "I've got Jesus, and you have Simon." And he's all Ryan needs, Dolly. Can she come back every week?
Onto the serious business. Brooke, Kristy, and Ramiele: they're roommates, too. Brooke is very emotional, but she's safe, and we're left with a dream bottom two: Kristy and Ramiele. I win no matter what. Ramiele goes home. Stop crying, you've still got the tour.
Next week: The Top 8 and Idol Gives Back. I know I'm a horrible human being for saying this, but I'm really not all that impressed with IGB. They raised$ 76 million last year, but that seems piddly, especially for a multi-gazillion dollar company. I'm going to try and do some math, so bear with me here: Last I heard, FOX charges $400,000 for a 30-second commercial during Idol. Say the show is 44 minutes long, which leaves 16 minutes for commercials, which equals 32 30-second commercials. 32 times $400,000 is $12.8 million. And they air what, 45 episodes of Idol a year? That's $576 million from just commerical revenue alone.
This is a long way of saying I probably will give the mute button a real workout next week. Maybe it will be Kristy Lee's time. One can only hope.
1 comment:
Interesting recap. Archaletta's fans are even more demented than Castro's.
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