Reality TV Sucks

Duh. Everyone knows it. Except my television professor, the renowned Robert Thompson, who made the case today in class that it should be upgraded from "guilty pleasure" to simply "pleasure."

I still maintain that reality TV is crap, and insultingly stupid crap at that. In class tonight, we watched a 30 minute "greatest hits" reality TV mix, including the final council from the first "Survivor," the reveal of Kelly Clarkson as the first American Idol, and clips from everything ranging from "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?" to "Temptation Island" to "Big Brother." After those thirty minutes, I was ashamed of my gender and of my species. This is what evolution and the women's rights movement has brought us to: 20 women parading around onstage in bathing suits for the pleasure of a "multi-millionaire," to determine if they are worthy of marriage.

Some highlights:

From "Who Want to Marry a Multi-Millionaire": Apparently the guy that FOX chose was a huge creep who had a restraining order brought against him by a former girlfriend. So once the scandal broke, he did an interview on NBC's "Dateline." The most offensive bit went something like this:

NBC Man: "Ten women parading around in swimsuits? That's pretty much just a male fantasy, isn't it?"

Sleazeball millionaire: "Well, technically it was 'beachwear.' They could have worn shorts and a t-shirt."

NBC Man: "Would they have won if they wore shorts and a t-shirt?"

Sleazeball millionaire: "Give me a break, man. I am marrying this woman, after all!"

Classy.

From "Bachelorettes in Alaska": The premise was that these single women went to Alaska to find love, because men outnumber women 5-to-1 in Alaska. Here are some paraphrased quotes from the introduction: (Both said by the bachelorettes)

"Gosh, I can't imagine anything worse than being 35 or 40 and being unmarried!"

"I just want to be a baby machine."

My God, seriously? You can't imagine anything...not anything worse than being 35 and unmarried? This is why the rest of the world hates Americans.

Then there was "Joe Millionaire" and the reactions of the women to seeing the castle. "I always wanted to live in a castle!" "This is what every girl dreams of!"

"Paradise Hotel's" tagline: "Hook up or go home."

"Are You Hot?" These people actually had the gall to claim that "dreams will be realized!" in its intro. The dream to be objectified on national television?

Plus, there was the moral mess that was "Extreme Makeover," and all of the shows where women compete for the affections of men. Especially those shows on VH1 and MTV, where the men are old and ugly -- why would a woman degrade herself for that? Is being on a fourth-rate reality show really worth it?

All this is a long way of saying that reality TV celebrates the worst in humanity. I am routinely disgusted to find that people still tune in to things like "American Gladiators," "The Flava of Love 7," and "Big Brother." Hell, even "The Real World," which was unwatchable after the Las Vegas season. I mean, 7 million people tune in to watch Tila Tequila choose her mate and not even 2 million can be bothered to watch the series finale of arguably the greatest show ever? I lose faith in humanity pretty quickly.

Yeah, reality TV sucks.